Sexual behaviours and even more so sexual fantasies are an important source of information when determining the sexual preference structure. It is crucial to differentiate between fantasies and behaviour. There are no “good” or “bad” sexual fantasies, but if those desires turn into actions that affect others you become responsible for that behaviour. However, no one is obliged to act on his/her sexual urges.

Becoming an expert on your own sexuality and sexual preference

Be aware and observe your fantasies, share them with yourself and think about them. You will most likely recognize that there is no chance to change the really arousing parts. Once you have been aroused by something and have orgasmed, it will work in that manner again and again. Compare your fantasies with your sexual behaviour. The majority of people have at least a few details in their fantasies, which never came true or have never been acted out. Being conscious of our fantasies helps us to be in control of our sexual behaviour.

Why is it important to be knowledgeable about one’s own sexual fantasies and sexual behaviours?

First think about it, then continue

• Increase self-awareness in order to protect from unwanted surprises and reduce anxieties
• Gain knowledge through competence and self-assurance
• Realize under which conditions the urge to act on sexual desires intensifies
• Increase your accountability: “I can influence something I know about”