2. Healthy sexual behaviours | Phòng chống toàn cầu mong muốn rắc rối Dunkelfeld

Illustration zum Thema problematisches Sexualverhalten. — Self-help
2. Healthy sexual behaviours

Healthy sexual behavior encompasses a wide range of activities, including masturbation, sexual interaction and the use of sexual materials (like pornography), all of which can be part of a balanced and healthy sexual life when approached mindfully, respectfully and with consent. Here’s a breakdown of how various forms of sexual behavior can be healthy, differentiated from problematic and harmful behavior and how to ensure your behavior remains positive and respectful.

Mini-series: Episode 02

Shock & Denial

Brie is one of the most sought-after art teachers in the city – but her heart beats for a student. Dina, ambitiously seeks her help to create a special gift. But Brie sees more in every gesture than is actually there.

When Dina asks for help, desire and reality collide. Brie’s fantasies clash with reality – with disturbing consequences.

How far can self-deception go before the truth becomes undeniable?

Masturbation

Masturbation is a natural and healthy way for individuals to explore their own bodies, understand their sexual fantasies and desires, and experience sexual pleasure. It can be a form of self-care and a healthy sexual outlet. Some people would masturbate only while using stimulating material (pornography). When we are talking about masturbation, we generally refer to masturbation without any material.

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What makes masturbation enjoyable and healthy?
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Privacy: Ensure you engage in masturbation in a private, comfortable setting.
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Self-awareness: Masturbation allows you to learn about your body and what feels good, which can improve sexual relationships by increasing understanding of your own preferences.
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Emotional well-being: For many, masturbation can reduce stress, promote relaxation, and help with emotional regulation.
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Safety: Masturbation without the use of sexual material and obsession is a safe sexual activity that does not involve risks like harm for someone else.
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Respect your limits: Masturbation should not be done in excess or interfere with your daily life duties and responsibilities.
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Avoid shame or guilt: Masturbation is normal and healthy when approached with a positive attitude. Negative feelings as shame or guilt about your body or sexual fantasies may arise, but there is no fantasy or feature of your body to feel guilty about.

Using Sexually Arousing Materials (e.g. Pornography)

The use of sexual materials like pornography or erotic literature can be a part of many people’s sexual exploration. However, it is essential to approach these materials with a balanced and mindful attitude to avoid sexual depictions of children, violence or other harmful situations for the depicted individuals.

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What makes the use of sexual materials enjoyable and healthy?
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Entertainment and education: When used responsibly with respect to the acting individuals, pornography and sexual media can be a source of entertainment or help to learn more about different sexual expressions.
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Self-exploration: Erotic content can sometimes help individuals explore different aspects of their sexual desires in a private, non-judgmental way.
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Use in moderation: Avoid over-reliance on pornography or other sexual materials. If it begins to take over your time, thoughts, or relationships, it may be a sign of unhealthy dependence.
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Respect diversity and consent: Choose materials that promote respectful, consensual, and ethical depictions of sexual behavior. Avoid Material depicting activities without consent, e.g. where persons are not able give consent for various reasons, e.g. minors, unconscious people or activities where people are forced to perform. Be cautious of content that objectifies people or perpetuates unrealistic expectations or harmful stereotypes.
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Avoid replacing real intimacy: Healthy sexual behavior can involve connection with others. If pornography or other sexual media becomes a substitute for real, meaningful sexual relationships, it may be a sign of imbalance.

Engaging in intimate Relationships

For people attracted to children, it can be really pressuring to be expected to be in a relationship with an adult, either by your social surroundings or by your own expectations. Relax, it’s absolutely alright to not be in a relationship, although it’s often the assumed societal standard. Intimacy is largely about trust and being close to other people, not just about having sex with someone. There is a number of opportunities to fulfill your needs for intimacy by taking care of your social network, friends, family, even colleagues or people you share common interests with.

If you are in an intimate relationship, sexual activities in relationships can be central aspect of well-being but it works without as well. Relationships should always involve mutual respect, consent, and clear communication.

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What makes sexual relationships healthy?
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Mutual and ongoing consent: All sexual activities, including intercourse and other intimate actions, as well as abstaining from these, should be consensual, with all involved partners able to and enthusiastically agreeing to engage in them. Consent should be continuous and can be revoked at any point. All partners should feel empowered to say no or express discomfort during any activity.
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No activities with children: Although they may be interested in sexuality, children are generally not able to take the responsibility and consent to sexual activities with adults as their brain development does not allow to estimate the consequences of sexual behaviour with adults.
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Mutual respect: Honor the feelings, boundaries, and autonomy of your adult partners. Healthy intimacy is based on equality, trust, and respect.
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Communication: Open discussions about desires, boundaries, preferences, and emotional needs are essential for a fulfilling and healthy sexual relationship with adults.
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Safety: Safe sexual practices, including using contraception and protection against STIs, ensure both emotional and physical well-being. Always consider safe sexual practices, to protect yourself and your partners from negative physical and emotional consequences.

Engaging in Casual Sex

(Ethical Non-Monogamy, Open Relationships)

For some people, exploring sex outside traditional monogamous relationships is a part of their sexual expression. This can be healthy if approached with care, transparency, and respect.

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What makes casual sex healthy?
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Clear boundaries and agreements: If engaging in group sex or casual sex, it’s important for everyone involved to have a shared understanding of boundaries, consent, and expectations.
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Emotional awareness: It's important to recognize the emotional and psychological impacts of casual sexual experiences. Clear communication and emotional intelligence are key. Be honest with yourself and your partners about your emotional needs. It's essential to check in with yourself and your partners about feelings throughout the process.
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Safe sex: Just as in any relationship, practicing safe sex is crucial to reduce the risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancy.
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Communicate openly: Discuss what you want, what you’re comfortable with, and any limits or desires before engaging in any group or casual sexual activity.

Signs of Unhealthy Sexual Behavior to Avoid

Problematic behavior is when someone acts in a way that goes against social rules about sex. This could happen even if the person is not punished for it. A sexual behavior is considered a problem if it harms someone else or if the other person hasn’t agreed to it. For example, if someone secretly watches another person having sex or touching themselves, without their knowledge, that’s a serious problem because the person being watched can’t give their permission.

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What is unhealthy sexual behavior?
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Coercion or manipulation: Pressuring someone into sexual activity or not respecting their consent is never acceptable. Without consent an act becomes a sexual assault. This can occur if the other cannot give his/her consent because he/she does not know about the content, execution and consequences of a sexual activity or is not able to understand them or the other actively disagrees.
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Over-reliance on pornography: If you find yourself using pornography to the point where it negatively impacts your relationships, social life, or emotional well-being, it could be a sign of unhealthy behavior.
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Using material depicting exploitation: Watching sexual material involvoing children in general, but sometimes also adults can be situations, they did not agree to either the activity itself and/or the distribution of the material. Even slight doubts can be a sign of unhealthy behavior and should lead to avoiding these images or videos.
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Engaging in risky behavior: Having unprotected sex or not considering the emotional and physical well-being of yourself or others can lead to harm.
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Disregard for boundaries: Ignoring or dismissing someone else's boundaries is a clear indication of unhealthy sexual behavior.

Sexual activities involving children

Remember: Masturbating to sexual fantasies about children is not a problematic sexual behaviour. However, sexual activities with a child constitutes problematic sexual behaviour and occurs as a direct result of a conscious decision made by an adult. Harmful sexual behaviours involving children include (but are not limited to) the following sexual activities:

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Harmful sexual behavior involving children
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1. Sexually motivated observations in intimate situations, known as voyeuristic activities.
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2. Sexually motivated touching or fondling outside of the genital area, whether clothed or not.
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3. Using child sexual abuse images for own sexual stimulation and/or producing or distributing these.
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4. Sexual grooming of children via the internet (chat rooms, etc.) or in direct contact situations.
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5. Exposing of genitals with and without masturbation, known as exhibitionistic activities.
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6. Demanding a child to receive sexual stimulation.
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7. Demanding a child to sexually stimulate him – or herself.
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8. Carrying out sexual manipulation and stimulation of a child.
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9. Penetration with the penis, tongue, finger or object into a child’s mouth, vagina or anus.
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10. The production of child sexual abuse images, with any of the above mentioned sexual activities involving or in front of children.
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11. Talking about sexual topics to get sexually aroused in the presence of a child.
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12. Showing depictions of pornographic content to get sexually aroused in the presence of a child.

The use and classification of child sexual abuse material (child pornography)

Child sexual abuse material used for sexual stimulation is classified qualitatively in categories of severity. There is no “safe category.” Although an image may be produced under non-abusive conditions, the depicted child is unable to give consent to the use of his or her image for the purpose of sexual arousal. The individual choosing to look at the image is responsible for his or her own actions and for the consequences to the portrayed child:

Even legal materials have to be treated with a thoughtful decision whether it would be harm- or helpful or not to use them for sexual arousal.

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Here is an overview of the classification of severity of images of children:
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Indicative: Childrens’ faces or children shown non-erotically either fully clothed or in underwear, swimsuits, etc. (pictures from commercial sources, family albums, etc.)
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Naked: Naked children in swimming areas, medical settings or provocative depictions of partially clothed children in underwear, swimsuits, transparent dresses, etc.
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Nudist – naked or semi-naked children (pictures from legitimate sources)
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Erotica – children in underwear or varying degrees of nakedness (surreptitiously taken pictures)
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Posing – children posing either fully dressed, partially clothed or completely naked
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Erotic Posing: Children in sexual or provocative poses
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Explicit Erotic Posing: Depictions of posing children emphasizing genital and/or anal area
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Explicit Sexual Activities: Sexual activities amongst children that do not involve an adult, such as touching, mutual or self-masturbation or oral/anal/vaginal penetrative sex

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Wrapping up: General Rules for Engaging in Healthy Sexual Behavior
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1. Set and respect boundaries: Clearly define your own boundaries and respect those of others. Healthy sexual behavior involves knowing when to say "no" and respecting when others do the same.
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2. Foster communication: Be open and honest with partners about your desires, concerns, and expectations. Mutual communication ensures that everyone feels heard and respected.
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3. Promote sexual health: Practice safe sex by using protection, getting regular health check-ups, and discussing sexual health openly with your partner(s).
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4. Seek help if needed: If you ever feel confused, guilty, or uncertain about your sexual behavior, talking to a therapist or sexual health professional can help provide guidance and support

Healthy sexual behavior, in all its diverse forms—including masturbation, the use of sexual materials, and engaging in sexual relationships—should prioritize mutual respect, consent, communication, and safety. To ensure you're engaging in healthy sexual behavior, regularly check in with yourself and your partners, be mindful about the materials you watch or share, educate yourself about sexual health, and maintain a balance that respects both your needs and those of others. It is important to understand and remember that sexual activities are most enjoyable when all involved parties agree to what they are doing and no harm is inflicted.

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Self-help 2. Healthy sexual behaviours

Shock & Denial

Masturbation

What makes masturbation enjoyable and healthy?

Using Sexually Arousing Materials (e.g. Pornography)

What makes the use of sexual materials enjoyable and healthy?

Engaging in intimate Relationships

What makes sexual relationships healthy?

Engaging in Casual Sex

What makes casual sex healthy?

Signs of Unhealthy Sexual Behavior to Avoid

What is unhealthy sexual behavior?

Sexual activities involving children

Harmful sexual behavior involving children

The use and classification of child sexual abuse material (child pornography)

Here is an overview of the classification of severity of images of children:

Wrapping up: General Rules for Engaging in Healthy Sexual Behavior

Troubled Desire Selfhelp & Chat

Self-test

Self-help
2. Healthy sexual behaviours