You are the master of your own decisions. You are in the position of consciously deciding against urges and you have probably done this several times before. Have you ever had the impression that the urge to act on your sexual fantasies related to children gets stronger when you are in an otherwise aroused emotional state like excited, curious, angry, lonely or sad? Have you ever had the impression that the urge to act on your sexual fantasies related to children gets stronger when you are in certain situations, such as when you are alone or passing by a playground?

What influences your decision? In which moments is it harder and when is it easier to stay strong?

Identify your triggers to prevent fantasies from becoming harmful behavior!

Personal triggers for problematic behaviors, like CSAM use, are specific situations, emotions, thoughts, or patterns that can cause you to engage in that behavior. Identifying and understanding your personal triggers is crucial for breaking the cycle of ending up engaging in harmful behavior, as it allows you to consciously intervene before it occurs. Personal triggers vary greatly from person to person, but there are common categories and strategies you can use to identify your own.

Types of Personal Triggers

1. Emotional Triggers

Emotions are powerful triggers for behavior. Both unpleasant and pleasant emotions can increase the impulses to get (sexually) active.

Exercise: How to Identify Emotional Triggers:

Keep making notes!

By recognizing how you feel and what your emotional patterns are, you can start to see how certain feelings push you toward the behavior. Identifying emotional triggers for sexual behavior involves self-awareness and observation. Here are some ways to recognize them in yourself:

2. Situational Triggers

Certain places or situations might increase the likelihood of engaging in sexual behavior. It doesn’t necessarily directly trigger the behavior but can also happen hours or days later. 

This could include: 

• Being around certain people or having contact to children can reinforce the behavior, sometimes not directly but later on.
• Being alone in your bedroom at night or in an unoccupied space (e.g., an empty house).
• Having easy access to the internet or digital devices closed by can be a situational trigger as well, so sometimes it might be helpful to keep some distance
• Lack of Structure: A lack of routine or having too much unstructured free time can also be a trigger. This might happen during vacations, weekends, or times when you're not busy with work or other obligations.

Exercise: How to Identify Situational Triggers:

3. Thoughts and Beliefs (Cognitive Triggers)

Your thoughts and beliefs are powerful tools for changing your behavior. When you change how you think, your feelings and actions can change too. With regular practice, positive thinking can help you deal with urges more easily and support long-term change.

Some thoughts or beliefs can act as triggers or increase the desire to cope with emotions in certain ways. These thoughts can strongly influence you—either pushing you toward looking at sexual images or seeking contact with children, or helping you resist those urges.

Here are some examples:

• Rationalizations: “I deserve a break”, “It’s no big deal” or “one last time”. Thoughts like these can justify the behavior, even if you know it’s harmful.
• Perfectionism or Unrealistic Expectations: Having a mindset that you need to perform at a certain level (whether in work, relationships, or elsewhere) can cause feelings of inadequacy, and the mind might turn to behavior that feels emotionally satisfactory as a temporary relief or escape.
• Fantasy: Having sexual fantasies or daydreams can trigger the desire for watching sexual images or other behavior, involving thoughts like “I need some more sexual stimulation, it would feel more intense while watching something.”

Exercise: How to Identify Thoughts and Beliefs (Cognitive Triggers):

When you feel the urge to engage in any problematic sexual behavior, note the specific thoughts running through your head. These could be thoughts like “I need to relax,” or “I can’t handle this stress anymore” but also something completely different.

Examine whether these thoughts are leading you to justify the behavior or directly engage in the activity. Identifying these rationalizations and thought patterns can help you challenge them in the future, consciously setting other thoughts against them and leading you to react differently e.g. masturbating with fantasies but avoiding sexual abuse material.  

Train the most powerful tool:

How Thoughts and Beliefs Can Strengthen Resistance to Harmful Behavior:

Our thoughts shape your emotions and actions. By shifting your mindset, you can strengthen your ability to resist harmful behaviors and create positive emotional states. 

Here’s how:

4. Body Sensations (Physical Triggers)

Certain states of your body, like feeling fatigued, restless, overly stimulated or aroused can be triggers.   

For example: 

• Tiredness and Sleep: When you’re physically exhausted or you can’t find sleep you may turn to sexual images as a quick way to feel pleasure or to overcome the tiredness, exhaustion or restlessness.
• Overstimulation: Engaging with too much technology or media (like scrolling through social media, using video platforms with other topics) might trigger physical arousal, emotional rushes or overstimulation, leading to the urge to watch “more” and ending up watching sexual material.
• Substance influence: Being on substances can influence your perception of personal values and borders. Engaging in unhealthy behavior might feel much more acceptable and your cognitive inhibitions may decrease while being on drugs. Be aware of the connection and put more efforts in preventing harmful situations while using mind-influencing substances.